Today the sun is shining and it is a perfect fall day! I love how the sun’s rays filter through the windows creating a ever changing montage of still life vignettes.
Isn’t my Frankie just the cutest ever? I have had him since my days of running a quilt shop way back when Becca was a baby!
These gifts of beauty are even more greatly appreciated as in the past few weeks I have been working steadily with only a day off here and there. This week was not any different and I have not have much time for anything. The work days have been long and demanding and I come home after dark exhausted. However this is to be expected at this time and this too shall pass. I do feel an excitement about my job that has long been missing, and I embrace that and add it to my blessings. There have been several things that have contributed to this heart change; one is coming to the realization that it is not work that I mind, it is being so far from family. Further, as I have continue to pursue this PhD in mind body medicine, my knowledge of healing practices has grown exponentially and I have been incorporating those practices into my everyday life. It really is how we view life and life events that shapes our mental and physical health.
Even when work is demanding unending time, I still find time in the wee hours of the morning to get in some knitting. Simple mindless knitting that can be used as a type of relaxation is just the ticket at this time and socks are just perfect. I cast on the second October sock in some yarn that my middle daughter Erica dyed. I just love the way this yarn is knitting up; the colors are so beautiful. I had intended to use it for a shawl but just couldn’t decide on a pattern so socks it is. If I was to name this yarn I would call it Vintage Christmas.
I couldn’t resist casting on another pair as well. These are in some yarn I scored at an estate sale for .50 per skein. I love the crispness of this nautical color combo. This is a yarn brand that I have never used previously. It has a stretch to it. I will be interested to finish these up and try them on!
It seems like years ago that I made the trip up to Condon to see my mom and say goodbye. Do we ever adjust to losing our parents? I know my mom used to tell me all the time how hard it is to lose your mother, but how can we really know until it happens? How many times in an ordinary day do we all think about how mom would love that, how I have to tell mom something, how many times we ask for her advice. Our moms are so woven into the fiber of our own self! While at work the other day, while checking my voicemail, I realized I have numerous voicemails from my mom! How sweet it was to hear her voice! It was a long hard day and hearing her asking how I was; well it was as if she knew I needed her at that moment! Oh how dearly I miss her!! When I lost my dad, a dear friend, Wilma sent me a copy of my favorite author, Gladys Taber’s book on grief. I pulled it out again the other day and began reading it. Her writing is soothing to the soul; she weaves in the business of living with the stop motion of grief. It has been of some help. But as she states, time is the greatest healer of deep loses to the heart. Go on we must, and so we do.
One thing I have noticed lately, is how I have allowed the use of social media to creep back into my life and begin to take over a lot of my free time. I think our electronic devices are a diversion from reality and getting things done; anyway they are for me. How easy is it to come home after a long day and just stare at the screen as we scroll through IG or FB, totally disconnected from any engagement with what is happening on the screen and in the real world around us? Wouldn’t that time be better spent knitting, taking a long hot bath, reading, or engaging with friends and family? I think so, so will once again unplug myself. I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I love how we can keep in touch with friends and family far away and see what they are doing, and I enjoy connecting through IG with like minded makers and the sharing of our craft. But lately I just scroll mindlessly as a means of killing time and disconnecting. I do spend a lot of time with my phone as I text daily with my children and grands, and that is a gift of technology that I love! Oh technology how we love and hate thee! As Neil Postman so wisely said “for everything technology giveth, it also taketh away.”
I finally opened the box from Mary Maxim and feel like I may be able to cast on one of the cute little outfits. But grief is unpredictable and while I may feel ready today, tomorrow, I may be unable to look upon these projects without tears and deep sadness. Mom just loved the little candy corn outfitted baby that I made her so much and I was so excited to make outfits for all the holidays. We’ll just have to see how it goes….. I am still busy knitting away on the penguins she wanted me to knit for my nephew and I hope to complete those and send them to him for Christmas fulfilling her wish!
I had some fun mail today. I subscribed to Making magazine in the summer and look forward to each issue. This issue I think is the best yet! I am in love with that sweater! I have been wanting to cast on a color work sweater but have not found just the right one. Well this one is perfect! And look at those sheep? Knit our of worsted weight, they are reversible! The entire magazine is a treat, chock full of lovely patterns and photos!
Although it is not yet Halloween, I must admit I have had Pandora playing Christmas music since last week end. My mom loved Christmas music and had a huge collection of Christmas records. Our house was filled with Christmas music from mid November until the big day and even after for a bit. I generally waited until after Thanksgiving to begin listening, but with Pandora I can listen anytime and it feels like a fitting tribute to my mom. My mom was always humming to herself and would sing bits and pieces of words here and there amongst the humming. It was comforting as a child and a sign of her contentment in her job of raising a brood of 8. And speaking of Christmas, I must add a Hallmark subscription to my Amazon TV account. Oh how dearly I love those sappy Hallmark movies!!
And now dear friends it is off to prepare for my work day. I’ll get in a few more rows on my sock and then off I must…
One thought on “October musing….”
I so enjoyed reading this post. It made me feel happy and sad all in one.